Matt O'Sullivan, 24, became a firefighter three years ago. At Ladder 101, he said he reflects on the impact of Sept. 11 every day.

Last Thursday on the occasion of the anniversary of that tragic day, he joined hundreds of firefighters and other New Yorkers on a mission to barn-raise a 4-H center in Greensburg, Kan., a small town devastated by one of the country's worst tornados.

O'Sullivan's trip was made in connection with New York Says Thank You, a nonprofit which pays thanks to all those around the country who helped New York in its hour of need by helping communities hit by disaster. The trip was paid for in part by $444 in pennies gathered by schoolchildren at nearby Public School 27.

Lt. Ian Bennett, 34, remembers when he became a firefighter a decade ago in Bensonhurst. He was the youngest. Now at Engine 202 in Red Hook, he's one of the oldest.

Bennett worked at Ground Zero for weeks in the search and recovery operation. Now every time he goes for a check-up, he gets a little worried because his file has a big red stamp, marking his time at Ground Zero and warning doctors to keep an eye out for health problems from the toxic exposure.

Bennett said he still shudders during a run to Manhattan.

"Anything to do with a high-rise, you just feel you could get killed so easily," he said. "You always think about it when you see a plane, it's definitely possible. Anything can happen."

Firefighter Sean Halper is one of the few old-timers at Engine 279 in Red Hook. He recalled driving the truck seven years ago, watching his crew enter the South Tower as he stayed with the apparatus.

"I was driving. My job was to get the water supply. I was at West and Liberty Sts. when the South Tower came down. I ran the world record sprint, I was hit by rubble. The dust cloud suffocated me," said Halper, 47.

He found his buddies from Ladder 131, which shared the firehouse with Engine 279. Somehow they survived the collapse of the second tower.

Ever since, he fears someone will ask, "How could you survive and no one else? How can you still be here?"
"It was tough coming back, everyone seeing me. I felt guilty. But I was doing my job, what I was supposed to be doing," he said. "I wanted to go with them."

No traces were ever found of Engine 279's crew. One family was able to hold a burial using a vial of blood the firefighter once donated.

On Thursday, Halper and his wife, Debbie, plan to donate the uniform he wore that day to the 9/11 Memorial museum at Ground Zero.

"I know I've been here so long," said Halper. "I'm just happy to still be here working. These young guys, they keep me young!

Jimmy Carino, 24, grew up outside New York, but always dreamed of becoming a proud member of the FDNY.

"My job now is to hear the stories and carry on the tradition," he said.

Firefighter Michael Wildes, 27, said the events of Sept. 11 propelled him to follow his dream of becoming a firefighter. He's at Engine 279 in Red Hook.

Training on the salvaged beams at the training academy reminded him of "all the brothers that came before us."

The 9/11 tragedy heightened everyone's sense of vulnerability, he said.

He recalls responding to the deadly Deutsche Bank fire near the World Trade Center site, where two firefighters perished.

"It was nerve-racking," he said. "The probie ahead of us asked us if the building could come down. We said, 'It's concrete! It's not going anywhere,' " he recalled. "But then we thought, 'Is there a chance it could happen?' "